God of Wonders

God is truly present in my life. and I'm loving it.
back at Retreat I talked about missing the relationship with God, and watching it happen all around me and realizing how much i missed it. now, i see it all around me. although I've been sick on and off for the past two weeks, I've witnessed how amazing God is and how He works in all aspects of life. I mean... this past week I was walking around in a trance of nausea and dizziness, but even through all that I could feel the joy of God's blessings. and i am SOOOOOOO joyful. i mean.. my heart hasn't smiled so hard for so long.. in a really long time....

random thought: there's this jeep that stopped in the middle of a lane about 300m from the lights and it's not turning.. and it looks really odd

anyway . hmm another thought.. i think i'm going to miss ACF kids a lot over christmas break... but it'll nice to be home

Resourceful Thinking

This is my baby-T, t-rock, froshie tim, or whatever other name you know me by's first post because Enoch strongly encouraged my to write something. So here's a pleasant story.

In two weeks time I'll be writing my asian history history exam; today seemed like a good time to buy the course textbook. (Notice that the Refund Policy is 14 days)

So at 5:45 pm, armed with $80, I made my way to the bookstore, but much to my disappointment, the book was listed at $75.95. With some quick math, one could see this book would cost a few dollars more than I had. (Later I would find out that Textbooks only have GST and that I did have enough money at the time, but for the continuity sakes, assume tax was 15%)

I needed this textbook now, and I wasn't willing to walk all the back to Perth or a TD Bank to get enough money. Where would I find the extra money to buy my textbook with?

The UCC Bank machine wasn't a TD one and I couldn't find anyone I knew to take a loan from. In my backpack were some notebooks, a clipboard, a pencil case and a book borrowed from the library (Surely You're Joking Mr Feynman; a very good read). I had my bus pass with my student card with me and in my wallet were my driver's license, healthcard, printing card, one ttc bus ticket and the useless td card.

How did I find the extra ten dollars I needed to buy the textbook?
Discuss (Alternate solutions will be acceptable)

i am hardcore.

it's your turn, Princess

if sex was the equivalent to marriage then Shechem wouldn't have needed to ask to be married to her after.

Something interestings for everyone to read~ It's pretty brutal though~ Abe was asking about the equivalence between the first act of sex and marriage~ here is my answer

Genesis 34

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis%2034;&version=31;

2 Cor 2-4 various excerpts

Something i've seen and hoped at the same time (yes it's a paradox because we only hope for that which is unseen) is us being able to minister the word of God to those around us.

2 Cor 2:14-17
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God."

Indeed we are all sent to be who we have been made, the fragrence. When we smell of something it's not an active thing but a state of being. When we are Christians we just smell of it, reek of it, and it's undeniable and unchangable. Why then do we speak of trying? Because we are sent. It's not the doin' so much as merely going. We get so full of ourselves...

2 Cor 3:1a,4-6
"Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? ...Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."

So it's goin' and letting God speak as our ministry as opposed to the constant fumbling at words we try to make perfect. Yet there are those of us that fall the other way and Paul has words for those as well.

2 Cor 3:11-12
"And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts! Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. "

So get out there and be bold but not regard yourself as special unless it's special like everyone else. God uses us and it's our blessing to be chosen in such a way.

When things are good...

2 Cor 4:1
"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart."

When Things are bad...

2 Cor 4:17-18
"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

But never forget...

2 Cor 4:13-15
"It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. "

Excerpts courtesy of Biblegateway.com NIV versions~

- NoC

refer back to "post-wc sharing"

so this same friend... acting so irresponsibly... and i'm telling her. and she knows it. but not doing much about it. i dont know how much worse things have to get before she accepts it. i tell her she's in denial.

point is: i want to stick around to be a supportive friend and hope that she'll start walking in the right path again.. instead of wandering off to do what is fun for the moment. i'm hoping she'll start taking her future and her well-being seriously. but at the same time, she's being a horrible influence on my life... swearing, encouraging me to skip class, and not do work and other stuff that i don't need encouragement for, because i'm already struggling to fight against it.

it's almost "too hard" to do both at the same time (be supportive and fight for what's right). it's taking a huge toll on me, and i'm suffering emotionally and mentally a lot. the jokes i make about that psych lady calling me, they're not completely bogus.

who knows anything about humility? what is it and how do i get it? It's kinda been on my mind but i wanted some external insight~

- E

Sex and Christianity

Okay so tonight at my home church there was a speaker who came in to talk about sex and Christianity. Basic points were made.

• Romans 12:2
  
• If a person has already had sex, God forgives (secondary virgin)
  
• "Real loves waits" --> 1 Corinthians 13 "Love is Patient" (Lust says "now")
• Law of Harvest
  
• 1 apple seed --> 1000s apple trees every year (1 seed multiplies indefinitely)
• if you saw anger, you will get back 1000x over (Hoseah 8:7)
• somwhere in 2 Corinthians --> If you sow little, you harvest little
• Galatians 6:7 --> What you plant, you will reap
• God says "Sow to the Spirit", you will reap spiritual/godly things
• when we sow outside God's plan ... STDs
• two virgins who get married never get STDs
• It's not God punishing us, but us misusing our sexuality
  
• Sex is valuable. When you treat it as something special, you get treated well.
  
• For example, drinking from a water bottle vs drinking water from a crystal glass. A water bottle is something normal. You see it everyday, and is not seen as something of value. A $95 crystal glass is precious. It is valuable, you must take care of it, you must not take advantage or you may lose/break it. In the same way, if you treat sex as something casual, then people will treat you as a "casual thing". But if you hold onto sex as a valuable thing, people will see that you are something more than "casual" and you are worth it. Sex is something special, and you are willing to hold onto it and take care of it because it is not something you want to lose/get rid of.
• one time is all you need to get a STD. Ex. this one girl had sex one time when she was 17, and was diagnosed with AIDS at age 23 and died. (not that concise, a little more dramatic, but the main gist of it). Moral: symptoms may be dormant, especially because she is female (the recipient) so it may not be present till it is too late. and it only takes ONE TIME!
• Dating
• If you start dating at 14, your heart will get broken an average of 23 times
• If you start dating at 16, your heart will be broken an average of 8 times
• If you start dating at 19, your heart will break an average of 3 times.
  

My question(s) are:

- Is there a difference between being sexually active before coming to Christ, and having already accepting Christ and going out to "Try sex"? I mean, God forgives regardless, but do you (personally) think there is a difference in level of severity of sin, or is sin sin?
To clarify further, if you have sex because you don't believe in God thus His rules don't apply to you vs. disobeying "The rules" to experiment.

(edit) I found like the perfect quote to describe the above question. okay, more like the quote came to me:

The tragedy of life and of the world is not that men do not
know God; the tragedy is that, knowing Him, they still insist on going their
own way.
-- William Barclay

post-wc sharing

so we talked about it again tonight. on msn. i told her again why i kept telling her that her drinking was becoming dangerous... after talking to Yvette about it for about an hour after WC, i thought i had it expressed and thought it so i would know how to tell her the next time we spoke. God gave me the chance to talk to her about it again, but i don't think i'm getting through to her still. all in God's time. i really need to embrace that now. because there's only so much i can do, i honestly can't think of any other options, any other ways to get the point across to her that she is going to die of alcohol poisoning if she continues to drink the way she does.

she tells me she understands, that she remembers regretting what she did. that she's putting herself on one week alcohol probation... but i really don't think she gets it, either that or she doesn't care. she's already looking forward to the end of her one week, and it hasn't even begun. she talks about what's she going to drink, that i don't even think probation would be healthy for her because she would push the extreme even further when she gets the chance. and there are only so many times that she's going to get lucky. a cat only has nine lives.

i am not getting across to her, and now i'm struggling with trusting that God will work His magic and i just need to accept that it will all happen in His time. that I've done all I can, and there is nothing more I Can do than to be a supportive friend. but that is so hard, especially after voicing my concern so many times over and over to an unwilling ear, stubborn and set on drinking. she tells me that she drinks to forget. that she drinks to have fun. i dont think she understands the severity of what she's gotten herself into. i know that repeating what i say is not going to do any better because now she answers to amuse me. she doesnt answer because of what she actually means, but because she doesn't want me to worry so she says what she thinks i want to hear. but strangely, i can feel what she's feeling in her responses over msn. i can hear the unwillingness in her voice, the reserved "hidden motives", i can almost read the thoughts going through her mind. what frustrates me the most, is that even though i can do all that, i have not yet understood what it is that will actually trigger her.

the truth is, there is nothing i can do. if she has an unwilling heart, there is nothing i can do. it's all up to God now. there is nothing i can do. nothing i can do. nothing...

i guess i feel like this is my safe haven~ other blogs have gotten too public and i don't know how to react publically anymore. sometimes i wonder if people understand me and the i quickly realize that they don't because nobody understand anybody because people are complex though similar. so i come to the conclusion i have to get over it and know that it's life~ lol~

i find my past is a hinderance to others that already know me. i find it more and more that the past is something that is to be disregarded. Rarely are people accurately depicted by the fragments of the past there are. Even though the event of the past may be recorded properly it's the inside that nobody understands that why it's somewhat bothersome when people ask me about past things. Like i said in my blog, i'm not a aggregation of my past but the present value of my future. It seems like everytime i forget this that i've somehow sold the person short~ odd~

on another note: what does it mean to pick up the cross daily? it's some cliché thing that comes up periodically in my mind that God my constantly remind me of. i see it like this, are we willing to die for God? that's the obvious non-commitment question where the easy answer is yes. what's hard about dying, it happens quickly and then it's over. Now the harder question is are we living for God. it's easy to answer yes because things are relatively good. For me to pick up my cross i think of all the worst things that can happen and say, God if those happen to me today it changes nothing between you and me. Failing uni and getting into a terrible accident so i can never play sports again while being alone with nobody that understands me would be the thing and so be it if God allows it. The knowledge that i could lose all things things is the freedom i've been given. The cross is freedom to love God without being held back. What would you're world look like if it fell apart? what would your response to it be?

sorry, this is a pseudo rant~ i just felt it more appropriate to put it here

- nobody of consequence