today i was at a christmas party for the Peel Environmental Youth Alliance, because they had invited last year's executive. as we were sitting on the floor listening to what the different schools had done this year to promote environmental awareness, i was amazed at everything they had done. in my mind, i kept thinking, wow... i can see God working so strongly in this. they're doing things we didn't even dare dream about ... it developed a feeling.. of tuggingness inside of me. and i was confused.

i'm not sure why i felt so.. inspired and in awe with these kids.. when.. i had never been involved with the organization to such a high extent.. i mean, i was part of the executive but i had never truly committed, and i know i didnt have the dedication that this year's kids do.. but.. i know it wasn't a guilty feeling.. or a lecture-type thing.. i kept thinking, maybe i should join EnviroWestern like i was thinking about before i got turned off by certain people at the booth. but at the same time, i was being told it was something more.. i just don't know what... i dont even know why i'm sharing this.

Wake Up, It's Time to Die~

DotA players would probably recognize this line of the Night Stalker character. It' s just a funny thought~ Sounds morbid but then again, i hear that every morning i think~ It's somewhat a reflection of our life in Christ. We wake up to be dead. We move through our day as a "deadman walking" i believe the lich says that line~ I do enjoy the undead characters. They say such cool things~

a little something for the gamers~

Today i entered the world of DOTA, a warcraft 3 custom game. It was interesting. (since i 'm n00b, please correct me of mistake i have made in this entry about game stuff). There has been one skill that has been floating through my head. At first the move sounded like garbage but it sounded so nice and as my housemate used it so effectively i realized why. There are many support characters that stop or slow opponents while tanks and hero killers go at 'em. This skill is one of those. It stops the targeted area from casting spells for a period of time, they can run but by the time it's cast it's usually too late for them. Magic is one of the escape tools for many. This move is called "6 seconds of silence" i believe. Isn't it so beautiful as a name? It sounds pretty pointless until it's seen in action. Yesterday i experience satan's casting of such a spell on me. It's funny how this thought has been in my head all week and now i know why.

So i was sitting at centre spot. I was sitting facing the windows staring off as my friend spoke. I do that a lot when i listen, look elsewhere that is. I saw something that made me cringe, a girl leaving the premises dropped all her food and as the door locks behind her i can clearly see how frustrated she is. I say to myself i should really offer to buy her food. I just refilled my meal card. i saw it. i can help. She walks around to come through a different door and she passes infront of me. i look her in the eye and i don't say anything. GG. 6 seconds of silence. It's all it takes for the faithful to fall and i had to pray for forgiveness right then. What am i doing???? All the meals i buy for my friends doesn't even come close to making up for this failure. So here i am, wondering and hoping that someone was faithful enough to have touched her life.

I guess here is my warning to those who think they are strong. I thought things were goin' well these days. Guard yourself. Sometimes when the enemy seems missing it's just because he's looped around and about to appear behind you or maybe he went to gangk another hero fighting elsewhere.

the absolute (ultimate) shield~

I have this on my blog but it something i thought would be good for y'all as well. Hold me to my resolve. I don't want to be anything less than absolute in anything. I want y'all to know i love you dearly as well =]

Greed is the character in FMA known as the ultimate shield or depending on translation, absolute, or for simplicity for later i refer to it as the absolutate shield (AS). One thing on my heart is always the battlefield. It's more of a forward march where we plow through things. In my mind it's pretty cool to see the sweeping away of fortresses by our presence. Why then are we not slowed, well one of the main reason is the protect we have in the armour of God and predominantly the Shield of Faith, and in our case if we have the absolute faith through our absolute God then we have this alsolute shield. it's kinda fun. there is no way to overcome this AS as it was shown through the anime. It cannot be beated directly. As we march foward we continually see the faith grow and push forward. But once the analogy is complete in my mind i look and see that our march is periodically slowed. Is there something wrong? Indeed. The anime shows that there are times when the AS, though appearing the same is no longer the same. It's not a hard carbon based substance (like diamond) but a soft, cheap imitation, like coal. That is how the powerless form not only destroys the one man, but the entire frontline. Because of one person's unfaithfulness the entire frontline has now become vulnerable. Is it that persons fault? On the micro level, *shrug* i don't see why it is not. On the marcro level, no. If we are a body then we fail as one. We have fallen, therefore i have fallen. Blame is out of place during the battle or while in action. What purpose does infighting serve when fiery arrows are flying? it is after when we make account for the happenings. If your shield is garbage then i will cover you with mine and with my armour and sword face down those arrows coming at me. There is no more fault, just overcoming. When we overcome then nothing matters. When we are overcome then we all die. All or nothing, for God and the brethren.My Resolve: i will not only be associated with you, my brethren, but it's time for me to commit my life into your hands and commit my life for your good. What you do is irrelevant to me. Where you fall i will pick you up. If you grow i will rejoice. if you fall i will carry you. If there is a moment to breathe i will speak choice words, whether encouragement or rebuke is up to you. My love is growing and increasingly more unconditional. I have been forgiven much. You will be to. Love covers a multitude of wrongs. Those that i had issues with, i've come to this moment to forgive. How else can i free others from sin when i am not totally, absolutely and perfectly free?I am slave to none other than my first favourite.